Maybe it is age and me not willing to go it alone because it all then become too difficult, too complicated. I have settled into a life. It isn't an unhappy life but it also isn't, at times, the life of The Couple Who Are In Love. But I just read a book where even that couple falls out of it.
Is it really possible, this kind of loving that lasts ages and has you kissing, having passionate sex on a weeknight even after years of knowing and the ability to draw your other half's silhouette with yours eyes closed?
I still find you attractive, but sometimes the thought of us having sex repulses me. Not because you are not desirable, but perhaps because we have become too familiar that to give in to an impulse so base almost tarnishes the whole thing.
Weird.
I want to be one half of this passionate couple that is beautiful and wrapped around each other. The couple that sits in a swing, limbs entwined, reading books, fingers absently caressing one another in places that are almost too intimate to be viewed in public.
I wonder whether those stay together long enough. Or can endure the normalcy of buying groceries, replacing fuses and drooping curtain rails. Bathing dogs. Folding laundry.
There are many moments when I feel fortunate. But I wonder sometimes if people ever see that glow of love I see in some other couples.
