Tired

I am seriously beyond the end of my tether at the moment. There is no fuse - it's burnt.

This moving, the managing of the resort, the pulling of everything together, and on top of that, the drama of Tigger and her family is more than enough to drive a woman mad over two lifetimes.

Yet there has not been a moment when I've wondered why I decided to go down this path.

Although there have been lots of moments when I increasingly find myself unfretful about not having Tigger in my life. Because she is so distanced from it in a way. Not in a physical way, but in terms of her presence of mind.

Maybe I expect too much from people. Because I overthink things, and most people don't even think. Creature used to complain about me doing this. I can see how I wear people down. See how I drive them away.

And I do, I know.

But when I don't think things through, no one else does. And we end up exactly where we could not have, if we had thought about things a little bit.

All I know is, at the moment, my biggest priority is the resort and my new life. I don't have enough energy to expend in nurturing anything else. If Tigger doesn't understand that, then too bad. Really.

I am just tired.