I Get It

I get it.  Your life sucks.  And you think that everything is on your shoulders, and no one else does as much or is helping.

You forget - I have been there.  And every ounce of frustration you feel is what I felt ten, twelve months ago when you were in KL and we were here scrambling to get everything up and running.

Everyone ran to me every time something broke down then.

Everyone ran to me every time they fought with one another then.

And all you did was sit in KL where you weren't actually needed.

So I held it all together, without you.

And when you came you were too busy to do anything else except focus on the business.

Which meant I unpacked the house all by myself.  Every single fucking box.

If not for me, you wouldn't know what is in this house or where.

So tell me again you do everything and I do nothing.

Tell me a million times.  Or two.  It won't make a difference because I am past listening.  I am past caring even, because you were not there when I needed you.

You see, I have learned now not to depend on you at all.  Not even to do the bloody laundry.

If not for me, we would not have clean clothes.

You think I don't work as hard?  Well, then tell me how I got here.

Because here is everything I have worked my fingers to the bone for, cried tears, lost lovers, fought battles till my insides have bled and frozen over.

Look at it.  It is where you work.  It is where you sleep.  It is where you live.

If you still don't think I work hard, then think again.

And think about what, really, in your life is so darned difficult you can't find a way to juggle your ONE JOB.

Because it is really ONE JOB.  The other one is not even active.  It's still a pipe dream.

I really need to figure out why I keep attracting you losers.

I need to change my mantra.