Evening

In the quiet of the afternoon, when I am alone with just the dogs in my little house, I exhale. Evenings are now my favourite part of day to be alone, in solitude with my own thoughts and fancies. While the world outside rushes home from work, or to dinners and their families.

When she is not with me, evenings like this stretch silent and long. Gentle and calm.

I now entertain thoughts of her and me, spending a life together, by each other's sides. I think somehow she is someone I can grow old with, after we have done what we need to, shored up enough money just to be with each other and worry little about anything else.

She is a blessing in my life. I hope hers sorts itself out soon, or she makes the decisions that she can live with and be happy with to some extent.

She deserves it, God. She is such an amazing person, so giving and generous, loyal and honest. She deserves something good.

I believe I am born under a lucky star. Fate has been kind to me. Even trouble has opened doors to more beautiful things.

I am now slowly becoming more comfortable with myself and my own company in this home. I love this space. I have reclaimed it from my past with Anim and made it mine. Erased her from it and the nuances of what it meant. It is no longer shared. It is mine.