The House

So i stand now on the threshold of a new life.

In mere weeks, I will leave this home, where memories have been built and nurtured, where joy and heartbreak has been contained.

It has been eight years without me realising it. In my mind somehow, the time here has been shorter, five or six, perhaps. I've lost track of how much time has gone by since I moved in.

I recall the evening after the last home was sold, and how I cried in bed, realising I would miss it.

Funnily enough, it hasn't happened yet in this house.

I can still recall so clearly moving into this home. How it all seemed to shiny and new. And how, after everyone of my moving in elves were safely tucked away in sleep, I would oil the cooker hood like it was some precious thing, and marvel at its shine.

I loved it then and I love it all still.

This evening it is raining. That wonderful, grey rain that excites the dogs with its thunderous coming, but then falls steady yet gentle. My favourite old standards play on the stereo. The delicate scent of lemon wafts in from the kitchen, where pears are gently poaching on the stove.

I wish I could capture this feeling. Bottle it and keep it for days in the future when I need to pause and think of something beautiful. Because this place is beautiful to me. A spot where I can sit and believe there is real beauty in my life.

I sit now in my favourite position, at the dining table, facing the lawn. How many evenings have I spent doing this and feeling absolute calm, and that all is right in the world despite everything? Contented, serene and at peace.

I am often flattered and amazed how other people coming to this home love it too. It is modest, but built with care. I think people must feel the soul of this house. That must be why they seem to like it so much as well. Strange, yet I have grown to believe it.

I can't explain it. Somehow, the fact that so many find themselves welcomed here fills me with pride.

I think over the next weeks and few months, I should try and capture this house. The way it feels, the memories, the beauty of it.

Many have asked whether I feel sad that we are parting. While a part of me loves it here, a part of me also feels ready to move on. And I know that once I leave, once this space is devoid of my beloved things, it will no longer feel the same.

Instead, my things will go with me to my new home. And I will build happiness there anew.