I Do Love You

I do love you but it wavers.

I want you, that is for sure. I am physically attracted to you and I know you are to me. And I feel that you actually love me, deep, down inside but you cannot face it because the thought of our love, its depth and breadth frightens you. You who has never believed she could love someone for a lifetime.

I know what I must exercise is patience. Patience to let you grow and spread your wings and be strong again on your own two feet so hopefully you will love me back with your whole being.

You are broken now, and I think I have had some hand in it. My intensity, my desire to get to the bottom of things and fix them has in some way cracked your strength and self-belief, what little of it you had.

I feel I need to be strong for us both still, even though you wish I wouldn't.

So perhaps, I need to lean on her a little, so she gives me the borrowed strength to see you and me through this long, dark tunnel that even you do not realise we are in.

I love you and I think always will in some way. If I stop loving you it will be because you choose to walk away from me and from us. I try but I cannot stop loving you.

I try. I do.

I exercise patience but resent it. I think if I am to last in this quest for our togetherness once more, I must let it go, this resentment, this expectation I have of you.

I must learn to accept you as you are. And either be happy with it or leave.

We are not done yet.