Conflicted

I think this is the first time we have physically met again after a separation and not kissed.

I am sitting at the dining table with you a couple feet away from me. There are no gestures of apology from you. Perhaps I shouldn't expect any.

Perhaps I should apologise.

I don't know.

I certainly don't feel like I want to. A part of me feels perhaps we should talk but I don't want to be the one to begin this time. I don't even know what to say anymore. It's as if I am content with the knowledge that you love me, but at the same time I do not want to explore this particular occasion more than I need to.

I want you here and I don't.

I am conflicted.